Well, probably not the most exciting title…. but a situation which occurred just last week and is a typical turn of events!!
It all began during my organisations biannual fundraiser for a well known charity; a colleague came by to take photos of the little ones swimming in fancy dress, at a break during lessons she mentioned that she would have to run due to a meeting back at the office……..then the penny dropped, it was the day my boss had organised for a rep to talk to us about the introduction of a pension scheme.
Shit! I remembering I had signed up for the 5 pm meeting and there was no chance of last minute child care.
Panic, raced home packed felt tips and activity books, charged tablets, sorted out some kind of vaguely appealing non messy snacks. Then figured out the quickest slummy mummy style supper before the school pick up run and prepared the battle which ensued of persuading Peace and Quiet to cooperate for my mad capped plan.
Raced to the office in time for the meeting, to apologise profusely to my boss (very lovely and understanding) settle the kids on the floor with the packed entertainment…..inside feeling smug! I can win this parenting and being professional lark!
Meeting ready on time! Win. The rep introduced himself…..’As the boy who lived’ (lead character from well known J.K. Rowling books).
The meeting was going well, aside from one or two minor interruptions by Peace. Quiet was uncharacteristically actually being quiet!! Win!
Mr Potter was winding up his presentation, then out of the corner of my eye, Peace was slowly removing her nappy…. a big fat CODE BROWN!!!! Smearing poo all over her t-shirt, hands and office floor… all before I managed to reach her and contain said nuclear fall out. To make matters worse, it was a real stinker. Luckily I had a few wet wipes (never quite enough), a spare nappy and dog poo bag to decontaminate the area and contain the offensive material. Quickly bundling all entertainment, snacks, Peace and Quiet out towards the door
The meeting wound up quickly as you might of imagined and we were all heading out to the car park, only to find that all three of us had been issued parking tickets.
Only one thing for it, head home, jet wash Peace and Quiet and source a stiff drink.